Archive for May 5, 2006

Yo Man, I Bang Like Eighty Bus Drivers A Week, Son!

Sigh, I’ve recently come across a bit of not-completely gossip that I feel I need to share. I’d like folks’ opinions on this because I’m at a loss and perhaps it’s my gender or something else but here goes:

You know how in high school (I’m assuming here because I went to an all-girls’ school so I got most of my high school stereotypes from television), there’s some jocky cocky guys who boast about how many girls they nailed? Maybe in college, too? I’ve never come across any in real life so I’m really asking. Because in college and presently, the guys I’m around have never really done that. And no, I don’t mean when they’re hanging around me, I know guys are always different around women because deep down, women are still potentials to them. But I’m talking about when I’m the only chick in the group and alcohol has been massively consumed and I might as well not even be in the room. I’ve heard guys get raunchy and nasty as all hell about sex and women, but never really about how many women they’ve bagged. It’s just implied that they’ve had sex with more than one, five or ten or whatever.

Besides in the average romantic comedy where there’s always the staple asshole who does brag about the types of women he’s bagged, I’ve just never really heard of men who are like. “Yeah man, I fuck secretaries aallll the time.” Now yes, if there’s some champ out there fucking Giseles and Stellas right and left, I can imagine he’d probably be running his mouth off to his buddies. But I can just as easily imagine him not making too huge a deal about it. I’d assume it all comes down to age and maturity levels. I really don’t see how a man over 26 would really run around talking about who and what women he bags 24/7. I mean would his friends really care? And wouldn’t that get on their nerves?

But anyway, like I said, I could totally get it if a guy was baggin’ Halles, Angelina’s and whatnot. But the story I’m going to tell you does not contain any of that. No, this story is about a guy who brags about bagging…bloggers..dun dun duuuun! Is it me or does that just seem..well, random? Wouldn’t most people think who cares? Isn’t that like saying, “Yo duuuude, I’ve been to like all the cheese capitals of the world, man. It was hot.”? Like hey I’m glad you enjoyed that but since it has absolutely no bearing on my life or thoughts for the day, I could care less.

Said guy – full disclosure: I’m discussing Barely Average from before – apparently likes to bag women who blog and brag about it. To whom he brags I have no clue since I’d imagine most folks won’t know who the hell he’s talking about or, especially, if she’s hot since I’ll assume that’s what matters in cases of bragging about sexual conquests.

I’m thinking this guy has blown up blogging to some sort of New Hollywood scene so banging a random female blogger translates to banging the rising female stars in Beverly Hills. But if it’s at all like Hollywood, really, banging other bloggers and bragging about it is more like the waiter/cabdriver/screenwriter who’s banging waitresses/models/actresses to get ahead. And since this guy tends to ask these women to help him with writing projects, I’m going to think I’m pretty correct here.

So, folks, I ask you. If one blogger bangs another blogger and no one’s around, does it make a sound?

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May 5, 2006 at 5:14 am 9 comments


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