I’ve Underestimated my Charm (Again)

…A friend/ fan recently asked me why I don’t blog anymore or less; and I replied I don’t blog because I’m in grad school and the only time I find myself with a rare moment of freedom the last thing I want to do is look at a computer screen.

Not to say I don’t love or miss blogging. I do, really. And at least once a day something happens or pops up that makes me want to race to the computer and blast to the world….

But it usually happens when I’m IN class (actually most of the time it happens I’m in class) or on the way to class or leaving class to go to the library or on the couch while watching “I Love New York 2″ and there’s just no way in hell I’m tearing myself from that!

Nevertheless I realize that my last personal post was a bit down, a bit critical, a bit, well, typical of my love life; and I’d like to update at least that so people (exes) don’t think (call, email) I’m still down (crouched in a corner of my apartment bawling, not having seen daylight for months).

I am fine. Really. I whore-er- stocked up while in NYC over the summer and am now back in school, back in Siberi-er- Cambridge where a good day is one where I get more than 4 hours of sleep, eat more than 1 and a half meals, and have one conversation that doesn’t concern the myriad ways black people are fucked. Yes I’d like to date someone but by “like” I mean on occasion I’d like to laugh with someone who I’m attracted to, by “date” I probably mean grab coffee because that requires a maximum of 45 minutes since I would most likely have to put off work and by “someone” I mean a man whose breath is decent (you’d be surprised) and is kind, generous, fun, grounded, and interested despite his knowledge that he’s a diamond-in-the-ruff in 02138.

For whatever reason the above is hard to accomplish and I’m not the kind of person to mull it over, bitch about it (for too long), and make a negative self-judgement because I don’t have a friggin date. I’m not a snob, my shit stinks too, but fuck it: I go to Harvard, I get paid to go to Harvard, I love what I do to get paid to go to Harvard, and I’ve made great friends in the process. I see the light of day with them

p.s. Black Kids is the best band ever!

Sex, the City, and Hahvahd

This past Sunday’s Times did a piece on the new sex pubs by college co-eds. Just when I thought to myself “oooh maybe I’ll get in touch with my own university’s sex pub to see if they need some grad guidance” I read the below from the H Bomb’s editor:

“I really don’t think [Summers] said much wrong,” said Vandenberg, who is pursuing a bachelor’s degree in biological anthropology. “I’m not a feminist. Feminism has this premise that men and women are equal, and I have a more biological view of things. I don’t think men and women are equal at all. I think we’re different, and what’s wrong with that?”
–“Biological anthropology”? Right, sorry, but enough police brutality still occurs for me to translate that term to skull measuring and conclusions about blacks and bestiality.

She spoke disparagingly of the prose submissions — H Bomb publishes both essays and fiction — sent in by Harvard women. “They’re sent in as fiction, but they’re always barely disguised personal confessions, or not even confessions, outpourings of angst: I entered Harvard and I thought to myself, I’m going to rebel against my sheltered upbringing, I’m going to have sex with whomever I want to — that’s the opening of the piece, and then the body will be Subject A: I led him on and then I felt bad, because I really liked him. Subject B: I thought I was leading him on, but actually he dumped me first. Conclusion: I’m so frustrated, I’ve ruined my reputation and now no one wants to have a serious relationship with me. They realized that they’re not fulfilled by casual sex, and yet they can’t find someone they connect with.”
– I’m sorry but are college girls supposed to be more sophisticated than 35 year old women who can still express these same sad sentiments (Okay, sigh, and didn’t I just basically whine about this last week)? If it’s going to be a college sex pub then it might as well accept the fact that much of it will be women-children learning that sleeping with someone you just met at a party can be freeing as long as you don’t expect an award for it.

“Right now it’s a dictatorship,” Vandenberg said. “I’m the meeting. I really hate meetings, actually. I really just like to communicate online. It’s very inconvenient to meet physically.”
–yes, yes it is. But then when I read that this chick is 20 and lives in a Boston penthouse apartment with her boyfriend, I think “Aw Hell No.”