Angelina’s Next Big Adoption!

so I had no clue blackface was making a comeback in the twenty-first century or that Angelina’s been hoping to evoke the ghost of Bert Williams. Jolie is playing Mariane Pearl in the upcoming “A Mighty Heart.” The film is based on a memoir by Pearl about the execution of her journalist husband at the hands of terrorists. Pearl is of Afro-Cuban and Dutch descent. She’s born, raised, lives in Pareeeeee, France. In France, et.al, she’s perhaps considered French, European, or mixed. Over here in these parts, bitch is black.

So that’s why yes I take issue with Angie’s lil-white ass portraying Pearl in the movie. This is a film that’s been long in the making. Initially Brad Pitt and his then wife Jennifer Aniston were going to produce the film, and Aniston was going to play Pearl! But then we all know what happened and Aniston gave up her rights to the production company and Pitt classily gave the part to Angie.

All I can say for Pearl’s lack of conflict with white women playing her is that she is not American and does not grasp the unfortunate lenses us Yanks wear regarding race and ethnicity. But Aniston, Pitt, and Jolie come from this side of the ocean and damn sure know what’s white and what ain’t.

Over here, when I walk into a room, I’m not someone who’s Afro-Irish-French-Greek, my ass is the black person in the room. And I’m ok with that, in fact, proud. I’m American and that’s how I was informed. Nobody gives a shit what fraction of what I am because we still have the one-drop rule going on underneath the radar.

But more important than my own personal kerfuffle, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle before I believe that Halle Berry (white mother, identifies as black because..well..duh), Vanessa Williams, Rosario Dawson (who publicly identifies as fractionary), or any other mixed-race American actresses weren’t available for this role. The story goes that Angie wanted the role, anyway: “Slap some cork on me and call me Bessie!”

So my question now is, “Who’s white ass can I pretend to be?”